Have your past efforts in losing weight involved feeling shame, guilt, deprivation, oppression, punishment…? Did it work for the long haul?
We think if we are disgusted enough with our ways of eating that it will change. We think if we let up on hating ourselves this way we won’t change.
It works the other way around. Real, lasting change happens through compassion, sweetness, gentleness, kindness, love and understanding towards ourselves.
Compassion gives us courage to change. With compassion, we have more freedom to move about. If we take a risk in doing something a new way or trying to lose weight again and it doesn’t work out, there won’t be the heavy repercussion of beating ourselves up.
Compassion allows us to be curious so we can learn what’s really going on inside of us.
It gives us a connection with ourselves. We get the wisdom and the joy from getting to know ourselves better.
Also, according to the Law of Attraction, we get what we think about, believe and especially what we feel. So, if we’re feeling fat, ugly, unworthy, deprived… we cause more of it for ourselves. It’s hard to get slim if you’re focusing on feeling fat.
Notice your self-talk. How hostile or loving/compassionate of an environment is it. Is it an environment conducive to growth or one which causes you to be cautious and have to protect yourself from with a layer of fat? It’s hard to be light when you’re carrying the heaviness of being constantly subtly knocked down.
Often illness is a result of cells living in this sort of toxic environment. Experiments have shown that when healthy stem cells are placed in emotionally unhealthy environments, they become unhealthy themselves.
By practicing compassion towards yourself, you will be more compassionate towards others, even while they cut you off in traffic. With the same event, you’ll feel more centered and peaceful.
When you are compassionate towards yourself you can be your own soft place to fall. Life will be more comfortable and you will lose an important reason to turn to food.
Tara Bennett-Goleman, a psychotherapist and author of Emotional Alchemy, Emotional Intelligence, and wife of Daniel Goleman, wrote, “Compassion can make our difficulties feel more workable. Compassion is a great tranquilizer.”
Don’t ration your compassion!